The Dark Side of the Spoon

nothins

Thu, 16 Nov 2006 07:55:56 GMT

So.. I haven't really been up to much. I haven't left my apartment in two days. I missed my oil painting class, AGAIN. I KNOW for a fact I've missed more than the days I'm allowed to, which means I'm probably going to fail. Blah. I just... didn't wake up. I've been in a strange mood these past few days. Sleeping a ton. Then when I wake up it's already night time and I know I won't be able to sleep in time for school, nad it's too late to really do much of anything, so I just sit around here.. listen to music..browse the web.. and eat. I'm going to gain major weight if I keep this up. I best not. I need to apply to some places for a job. As much as I don't want to wait, I can make some good tips if I do. I'm definately going to try to get a job at a 24 hr place during the summer. Maybe Clarke's willl hire me.

I've had a lot of homework lately and that's been brinign me down. I HATE writing papers. I've also been working on a lot of commissions, and still have quite a few more to do. I think I'm down to 20 bucks in my bank account. My mom is taking out a loan to help me, and I should really get a job to save up to pay her back, or to help my own cause as well. ugh. I don't want to think of how annoyed I'll be working and going to school fulltime. We'll see what happens.

SNOW!?!!?!?!

Thu, 12 Oct 2006 22:25:34 GMT

Holy mother of crap, it really did snow today. And a lot! It's sooooooo freeeezing out. And my apartment is damn cold. My friggin radiator is radiating nothing but lies! LIES! Yes, so very lame... I'm going to have to go out and buy gloves and more "hooded sweatshirts". I wish I had a little knitted nose piece. My nose is always freezing..It just kinda juts right out into the cold.. quite a bit. My hands have been ice cold the past few days.. Hell.. I've just been cold in general.. and all day today. Ugh. So much to look forward to weather-wise.

Today was a decent day, mood-wise. I still have been pretty unproductive and haven't gotten out much lately. I need to get my peoples together and start having more of a social life! Today felt so much like a friday, which is really disappointing. I know I'm going to wake up tomorrow so warm and comfy in my bed, and it's going to be freezing in the apartment. I will not want to get up for the life of me! I almost didn't go to school today. I've already missed about 5 days of my oil painting class though, and I've been late a handful of times..at least.. so I decided to go.

I can't wait for Halloween, but I still don't have any plans. Anyone know of any cool parties that'll be happening? And events that aren't 21+. I still don't know if I'm going to dress up, and if so, what I'm going to be. It's coming up so quickly. If I let it pass me by, I'm going to hate myself for it! MUST FIND COOL STUFF TO DO!! And drinking is a must.

Well I need to go keep warm, which probably means I'll be passing out..

Bored

Mon, 09 Oct 2006 20:57:33 GMT

So I'm sitting here at the computer while it's another beautiful day out, probably one of the last. I do want to buy a book and I COULD go to borders, but I just don't feel like it. I do want to do something, but I'm too unmotivated. What is wrong with me?????

Uusally I know exactly what I'm going through and know my feelings pretty well, but the past few months have been undescribable. Maybe miscellaneous? I can't really understand or label my mood and thoughts lately. Kinda weird. I feel like I'm on a drug that's making me really laid back and apathetic, but I'm not. And this is a daily occurence. I guess I'm somewhat frustrated by some things, but again, I'm too apathetic to really care. I don't understand other people as much as I used to. I used to be able to smell a phony or bad person a mile away, but everything is becoming blurry. I don't want to be naive, but I feel as if I am. I'm too much of a coward to ever stand up for myself or to ever start anything. I'm too shy and definately way too self-concious. I tried bettering myself emotionally in that area, and for a while I was doing pretty good, but it's falling back again. So much fucking uncertainty. My head is way too cloudy. Nothing is clear anymore. Sounds, tastes, smells, thought. Nothing. I can't focus when I'm out, I'm always drifting. It seems the only time I can focus is when I'm creating. And on that note, I still am lacking the motivation and inspiration that use to fuel me. I am thankful I have a peaceful private place, my own home, to collect these pointless thoughts in. Ha. Really though, I am.

I'm sure none of this makes any sense, I'm just in a mood to ramble and I need to try to figure myself out. I don't get me one damn bit. I don't know what I'm always so afraid of, but it's holding me back from so much. I never take chances, I'm not the leader I used to be. I want to be fearless and I want to love myself. I've been saying for years I need some self-improvement, but I just don't know where to start. I'm not sure if I love the independency and the silence, or if I really am lonely deep down inside. I felt like there was a gap when I was with Nick, but strangely I don't feel that gap anymore. I don't necessarily feel complete, but I don't think a significant other is what's missing in my life right now. I'm trying to figure out what is. The stupid thing is, if I do ever figure it out, I probably won't do a damn thing about it.

I feel I've changed a lot to other people over the years, but I still feel the same inside, just a little duller. I don't know if people actually enjoy my company, or honestly really find me annoying. Maybe they're humoring me? Using me? I do have a few close friends that I'm not including in this, I'm mostly talking about school friends, aquaintances, etc.. I wish people would be sincerely honest with me. I need to know what they think of me, maybe they can help me improve myself. And if they aren't a sincere friend, why are they wasting their time with me? Is there something they're trying to get out of me? I don't feel paranoid, but from the looks of these rambles I sure as hell seem to be.. I think far too much. I dig too deep into the miniscule details that I always miss the bigger picture. I am always mislead onto neverending consequences and scenarios, playing over and over again in my head. I'm completely oblivious. My world isn't as sharp or as easy as everyone elses is. Why do I make things so difficult?

Ok.... I'm seriously done rambling now. This was kind of a venting/theraputic thing.. I guess.

Ladytron

Sat, 07 Oct 2006 04:09:16 GMT

Ladytron was awesome! They only played for an hour and a half though, so that sucked. Me and my best friend Geneve drank a bit before we left, and I'm still a klittle drunk now.. I might drink more and go to clarkes or something...

So yeah, they played all of my favorite songs!!! And I danced! That's right nad, I danced! To eveyr song too. There was this creepy guy bothering me and geneve though.. Why do I always attract the creeps... He caeme up and told geneve she had the best hair oout of everyone there, then tried dancing with us when the show started... he fucking had his hand on my back and was carressing it and was touching my thighs and waist. UGH! CREEPY! I tried to ignore him and enjoy the show. I so should start kicking these guys in the balls!

Anyway, I'm off to hopefully do something, cause its friday night and I'm not ready to turn in yet!

Rambling..

Mon, 02 Oct 2006 01:05:31 GMT

I've been pretty bored lately. I haven't been up to much. I did visit the suburbs this weekend. I saw Modular at JJ Kelly's, saw Geneve's new apartment, saw her new adorable puppy...ate tacos.. and that's about it. I really missed my car and missed driving, so I'm glad I got to do some of that again. Nothing much has changed back in the burbs or back at my old home.

I'm back in the city now and back to my same routine of nothingness. I'm going to see KMFDM on tuesday, so that should be fun. Unfortunately another show I was really anticipating seeing will not be happening for me anymore :(. It's a 21+ show and a friend of mine was going to be able to get me in, but now there was a change in doorman and I won't be able to. Who the hell knows when Cinema Strange will be coming back to Chicago!! Ugh! I was also supposed to be taking care of my 5 and a half months of celibacy, but sadly that never fell through, and probly won't. Either he realized I really am nasty and ugly, or I just drove him away with my annoying self, as now he's pretty much ignoring me. Who knows, maybe he chickened out. I'll find a possible hump one of these days I guess, ha.

I'm still feeling kind of apathetic every now and then, but not nearly as badly as I used to. I seem a lot happier and upbeat lately. Even though I don't feel lonely, I still turn into a bitter old woman whenever I see happy couples around me. I want to tear out their lovers hearts and smush it with my boots! Ok, not that bad, but I still sneer at it. I don't want a relationship yet at the same time I do. I think I just miss the affection and company. It feels so hopeless, I don't go out much so I don't think I'm bound to ever meet anyone. I'm also way too picky it seems. I want to find someone who is perfect for me in every area, though I'll be searching forever if I keep that up. Yeah, I don't know. I confuse myself sometimes. Even though I'm bitching about all of this, I am pretty content with my life right now. Whatever. I'll just go with the flow.

I missed Nocturna again. I've been wanting to check it out. Even though I'd probably just quietly stand in a corner and watch everyone. I wasted another beautiful day today with my laziness and procrastination. I also still have some homework to do that I'm really not motivated to start. I was going to do laundry, but well, you know how that goes. Tomorrow..

I finally got my hair touched up. My roots were awful and my color was getting faded and orangey. Now I'm back to the bright ass red. I'm sure it was a pain in the ass separating my hair and doing the red and black on each half. Thanks Geneve for doing it for me :). I love having a beautician as a best friend. She does my hair and in exchange, I give her art prints! Haha.

So...yeah... I think I'm just gonna snuggle up in my bed now and pass out til 6am. That sounds great, actually.

Tacos for lunch tomorrow..

stuffs and stuff

Wed, 20 Sep 2006 23:36:27 GMT

I completely forgot about LJ for a while, then when I remembered, I had no interest in postingn anything. I am bored now so I suppose I'll give in again.

I started school and am enjoying it so far. I started my illustration major and am taking oil painting as an elective. So far so good. My schedule kind of sucks as Wednesdays I have a 3 and a half hour gap inbetween classes. It isnt fun hanging out in the library or cafeteria doing nothing for that long, but whatever.

I'm showing some work at Spybar on the 23rd. I ordered some prints of my newer work, but I'm not sure if they'll come in in time, as today is already the 20th. I'll also be showing at a gallery for a Halloween themed exhibit. I completely forgot the name and location of the place though... I'll post more info on that later.

I've got some fun concerts coming up. I'll be seeing KMFDM (once I get a ticket anyway), Ladytron and The Dresden Dolls. I REALLY REALLY want to see Cinema Strange, but it's 21+ :( DAMN IT!

I decided to stop smoking and haven't had a cigarette since friday, so far so good on that.

I've been eating far too much macaroni lately. Fun little spiderman and shrek shapes.

I haven't been doing a lot outside of school which sucks. I need to get out more. I should try working on that. I should also try working on getting a job. I will however hopefully be taking care of my unwanted 5 months of celibacy soon, so that's great news.

hmm..what else.... Not much going on in Cristina land, as usual. I do know that I must have a drinking night soon. It's something that must happen, RIGHT VAL??? Drinks, pizza and movies. YES! My place is fine...so...come on people.

wow

Sun, 03 Sep 2006 05:37:39 GMT

I completely forgot about live journal...and... I was going to babble in here, but now that I think about it, I dont really feel like it.... hm....

WOOOOO!

Wed, 02 Aug 2006 05:37:15 GMT

I only have one thing to say, and that is this. I GOT MY APARTMENT! WOOOOOOOOOOOOO! The lease and checks are all signed! I'll be moving in on the 15th! 2 weeks!!!! I'm very very excited! Finally... my own place.. PRIVACY! serenity! oh, joy! I must bum around the city to find fun happenings and drinking buddies!

lately

Thu, 27 Jul 2006 08:02:22 GMT

I haven't been updating on LJ as much lately, but I had a feeling that would happen. I've been pretty busy and stressed out. After finally finding the perfect apartment, I'm going through even more bullshit with co-signers and whatnot. I won't know if I have it for sure until monday. This blows. I've been fucking stressed to hell, constantly tired and exhausted, and I haven't gotten laid in 3 months! This shit is pathetic! So far nothing is going well and I hope to god I get this place so things can start improving. I'll be so happy if it all works out.

I got pulled over for the first time tonight. 2 houses away from mine. Luckily it was just because one of my headlights were out, so he gave me a warning. Now there's another thing to replace. ugh.

There's some things I've been wanting to do. I need to get out more and start having some fun. Some things on my mind have been: getting laid, going to the hookah bar, getting my place, packing, going on a road trip, going on vacation, going to the antique mall, selling some of my hand painted shit, selling prints, drinking, ebay, and I know a ton more shit.......

ugh....

Apartment Hunting

Mon, 17 Jul 2006 05:58:12 GMT

I went apartment hunting friday and saturday. I walked from town to town all day both days in the blazing heat and humidity. It was hell, and I still don't have a buidling yet. I managed to get like, a hundred different address I cam upon from all the walking around. I had an appointment with a lady on friday, but the place was overpriced. The room was pretty small compared to some other cheaper studio's I've seen. I was very interested in a place on north clark, and I ended up staying the night downtown and having to pay for a very expensive hotel room, so I would make it on time for the appointment in the morning. The gay games started saturday, so hotels were booked and there were people everywhere. Including gay cheer leaders.. So, when I went to meet the lady for my appointment, she wasn't there. She never showed. Didn't answer the phone either. So I was pretty upset at that. But all in all, I got a ton of places I need to look into and find out prices. Then I'll have to go back and visit those, too. I can't wait until all this is done and over with.

I might be moving downtown!

Thu, 06 Jul 2006 06:32:06 GMT

Yes that's right. Cristina might actually be getting out of her house and moving downtown!!! Isn't that incredible??? If I can get out the extra loan money, I'm doing it. It's going to be difficult, and I'll have a lot more to pay back when school ends, but I think it will be worth it. I need the experience and I need more independence. IT HAS TO WORK OUT! If it doesn't I'm going to be extremely upset.
If it works out, I'll have my own studio apartment to share with my kitty Poofles :). It's 610 a month. The red line isn't too far from it either, and I can hop on that to get to school. I must move to the city!!!!!

Life is moving fast

Tue, 27 Jun 2006 17:37:32 GMT

Life is moving fast, for some. My bestest friend ever is now engaged. ENGAGED! She's my age, actually a few months younger, and she's going to be moving into a house and get married in the near future! I can't believe it. It's absolutely insane. And here I am sitting at home with nothing to do, wasting my days. Wow. CONGRATULATIONS GENEVE! I hope you have a happy happy happy life together :)

oh and, I haven't been eating any junk or drinking any pop since my last entry :)

good stuff

Sun, 25 Jun 2006 07:31:22 GMT

I decided I'm going to start being truly serious about my goals. This time I'm really going to start eating better, instead of saying I am. And, I've come to the conclusion I should stop smoking before I get addicted. I'm really going to give this a shot this time, and I hope it all works out. Hey, I actually just filled up on salad and corn! no tacos or pizza..

Today wasn't the best of days for me. It started out with me getting lost on the way to my boss's house. I was going to her grandson's birthday party to draw caricatures of all the kids there. First of all, I have absolutely no sense of direction and had never been there before, and secondly, I do not like children. They're like aliens to me. so foreign... so irritating.. anyway, I finally made my way there after 40 minutes of driving in a maze then in the wrong direction. I then got to sit my ass down on a toddler sized chair and hunch over to draw all these children.. I drew 9 or 10 kids... about 20-30 minutes each... I was drawing those brats for over 4 freaking hours!!! my back was KILLING and so was my ass from sitting down on that little chair for so long... and on top of that, some of the kids just laughed at the pictures or said it didn't look like them. little assholes.. like I really cared if their portrait was perfect... There was something good that came out of all this, though. My boss bought me a 24 pack of mountain dew (which I've been wanting to avoid drinking) and she gave me $100!!! In a time of desperate need..

After the hundred bucks I thought my day was getting better.., but then on my way to geneve my brakes felt like they were failing. I had to push the pedal all the way down to the floor and hold it with a lot of my weight to completely stop the car. It kept creeping forward even though I was pressing the brake HARD. I thought I was going to hit the cars in front of me. It was pretty scary... AFTER I got to geneve's, I thoought all that shit was over with for a while and that I'd relax.. but nope.. I locked myself out of my car..yep..I've never done it before, but today was the day. I did get lucky about one thing, as soon as I locked myself out, one of geneve's bf's friends arrived and he knew exactly what to do. He had worked for a repossesing company and knew how to break into cars. So he shoved a wooden rod underneath the top of the door and pressed the unlock button. I was relieved. I finally thought everything was going to settle down... but nope.. When he was going through his trunk to get screw drivers and shit to help me unlock my car, he locked HIS keys in his trunk in the process.. and he can't get to the trunk without getting in the car, which was also locked... ISN'T THAT AMAZING!?!??! not ONLY do I have horrible luck, but I give it to everyone else too!

so yeah... not a good start to my day... at least it didn't end bad.

Another weird dream

Thu, 22 Jun 2006 13:57:50 GMT

Well, l just woke up from another strange dream. I dreamt that tracy was living in my basement and turned into a tiny white mouse as a disguise....... wtf...

oh my god

Wed, 21 Jun 2006 04:15:17 GMT

insanley bored once again :(

I need to make plans. This is ridiculous. Geneve, you were supposed to call me last night and didn't, and said you'd call me back tonight and haven't. And Val, you were supposed to call me today to go to the gym and didn't! are you guys trying to tell me something?

haha

so............ what to do...

Nothing

Mon, 19 Jun 2006 05:35:03 GMT

My life has been so uneventful lately...

My brokeness is really starting to upset me, seeing as that show I'm going to have my work in is sooner than I think it is. (July 8th) I could only afford 1 frame that I bought off ebay, and I still need at least 4 more. I spent 60 bucks on my own prints, and about 25 on the one frame. I have 19 dollars in my bank account, and guess what? Michaels just had 40% off on their frames. god damn it. I'm also going to need to mat the pieces, and instead of being over-priced to have that done, I really should just buy a mat cutter since I really need one for my school work, too. (at least 100 bucks right there) ugh. I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't get paid till friday the 23rd either. They want the work a week in advance... That doesn't leave me much time. I'm going to be rushing to get this shit done last minute, and I'm probably not going to have enough cash. It will be nice having my entire paycheck leave my account immediately.

UGH. oh well. Things will probably work out, so I shouldn't worry so much.

I've been wanting to do more good things for myself, and I've been slacking on going to the gym this whole week. I should punch myself. I need to lose some of my fluff! I'm really going to try to start making it in every day, and I'm going to try to start eating healthier. Just better and smaller meals frequently throughout the day. I heard that's best. I also need healthier snacks. I don't think I'm going to be able to resist the pizza and taco's though. :/ especially the taco's.
I CAN DO THIS!!

My Saturday

Tue, 13 Jun 2006 01:22:40 GMT

I had a great time on Saturday. After work I went over to Geneve's boyfriend Casey's house. He was having band practice with the rest of the guys. (John, Tymm, Pauly) We started off just hanging out. John and Casey were cooking burgers and hot dogs, and Geneve and Pauly were playing frisbee. I was just relaxing with my mikes raspberry drink. Yummy! After that, they started setting up and getting ready to play. I took a bunch of pictures of them practicing. Some of them came out pretty cool. I kept drinking my raspberry drinks while they were practicing. When they finished, Geneve, Casey and Pauly went out to pick up some more liquor and cigarettes. As soon as they left, the drunkness hit me! I got insanely talkative and comfortable and open. That's why I love getting drunk so much. I'm still me, and I'm still in my right mind, I'm just not shy and I don't hold my efelings or thoughts back. It's an incredible feeling to be so comfortable with myself! By the time they got back, I was so drunk. As soon as Geneve got out of the car, I threw my arms around her and pulled her to the floor, rolling around, shouting how much I loved her. Hahaa! then she gave me even MORE alcohol, and I drank it. It was pretty cold out that night. Somewhere in the 50's. Casey started a bonfire in his huge yard to warm us up. We all gathered round', and Geneve and I ended up sitting our asses down on a soaking wet bench. We had huge blotches on our ass. I had one huge blotch on each cheek. Fun stuff! It did make for some great pictures though. After that we had a good time. I was Eating Cheez-It's, Listening to Ohgr, Nine Inch Nails and Ministry, Dancing around like a dumbass, talking about random shit, smoking cigarette after cigarette (I'm not a huge smoker), and singing. God knows what else. It was fun laying down in the grass and looking at the sky, as cheesy as that sounds. Geneve sat on me and mooned me that night, too. Pauly hopped on Casey's shoulders and was afriad he'd fall down.The guys started rough housing, Geneve jumped on top of Casey on the grass, and much more. It was a pretty fun night! I hope to do it again!

I'm putting up a crap-load of pics!

After we got to Casey's

Geneve is soooo pretty!

Pauly started up the lawn mower

Geneve and Pauly played frisbee

There's a TON more pictures behind the lj cut!!

Band Practice. Tymm playing

Casey and John singing

John singing

funny look on Tymms face!

cigarette holder

Casey singing

After they practiced, we started on the drinking!

I was sooo drunk right here. Geneve and I took pics together

we'd make such a cute couple if we were gay!

Pauly puy on Geneve's earrings!

It was pretty cold, so Casey and Tymm started the bonfire

John in a pin-up pose by the fire. how sexy!

Pauly hopped up on Casey..watch out Geneve

This picture is HILARIOUS!! Geneve and I sat on a wet bench. Look at the angle she's at, the look on John's face, and Pauly laughing in the background!

Geneve and Casey releasing some sexual tension

Lucy chillin with John and Casey

I have NO idea what I'm doing. I think I might have been dancing?

I'm so wasted... I look like a doofus

this picture is funny as hell. look at how happy I look!

Pauly was snacking on the Cheez-It's. How cute!

and now I have to include some awesome fire pictures!

The End!

We're so emo it hurts.

Sat, 10 Jun 2006 17:50:51 GMT

Haha, joking of course. Geneve and I took a picture I find pretty fun. It seems all those emo kids have those choppy haircuts and brush their hair over their eye/s.

funny stuff!

and here's our ultra serious goth pose. (I need to dye my roots)

Here's Geneve's new puppy Lucy! yes she actually enjoys dressing up

I'm at work and sooo bored. what do you do to pass the time in a nursing home?

and I decided I'm not going to get my "nip nips" done. I think I'm going to give it more time to think about it. I've been hearing from a lot of people (mostly guys) that have had it done and think it's just a nuisance. So I'm wondering if it would even be worth it. I dunno. think I'll wait a bit though..

Today

Fri, 09 Jun 2006 07:23:15 GMT

So I finally ended up getting out of the house around 8:30 tonight. I went out with Chris to Steak n' Shake again. Last time we ran into a friend of ours named Karly. Turns out she's a waitress there. It was odd having her wait on us.. anyway, the shake was amazing as usual. I've tried to peanut butter cup, cookies n' cream and turtle caramel shake so far. The turtle caramel shake is still my fave.
After Steak n' Shake, we went back to Chris's house for a game of air hockey. I'm so jealous he has one in his basement! Chris was violent and eager to win as usual, flinging the puck into my knuckles and tipping the table! hahaha. Well, he wasn't as bad as last time. I guess he did win fair and square THIS time. But last time I SOOO won. cheater.

After I left Chris's house, I met up with Geneve and we went over to the gym to work out. I spent a half hour on the treadmill and did some weights with my legs. I could have done more, but she was tired so we left. Hopefully I'll be going back again later tomorrow.
Tomorrow I'll be going to Buffalo Wild Wings with Val, finally! Our original day didn't work out as we were both kind of broke, but.. pay day for me! I can't wait for those little popcorn shrimpies! Saturday, if I have enough cash, I'll be getting my nip nips peirced. I'm not nervous at the moment, but I'm sure I will be once they sit me down. I might not have the money, because sadly I had to put 100 bucks towards my car the other day. We'll see. I think I'm also going to be hanging out with Geneve, her boyfriend and his band tomorrow night as well. fun times. I think my sunday will be a day of nothingness, other than work. Tuesday I'm seeing Front Line Assembly with Geneve and her boyfriend, so that should be fun. One thing that sucks sometimes is hanging out with a couple :(. It makes me kind of lonely here and there, but oh well. It's nothing against them, I like hanging out with both of them. I just can't help but want someone, too. mope mope mope. someone bring out the violin!

In other news:
This.... is incredible, hypnotizing, pedophilish, and completely wrong...but.. HILARIOUS! I seriously cannot stop watching it. http://rhinoparty.ytmnsfw.com/

and.. does anyone remember the cake song link I sent them? well.. check this out! http://darksidecake.ytmnd.com/ http://zarqawihell.ytmnd.com/

Which works should I show?

Thu, 08 Jun 2006 06:00:53 GMT

so... I'm having my work up on public display for the first time! It will be up at Spot 6 on North Clark on July 8th. It's not a big gallery or anything, more of a hang out place and bar. They have a lot of DJ's and bands that play there, so it should be awesome! The guy said there's supposed to be a Portishead-like group performing on that night, so I can't wait! He also said I could stay late after it turns 21+! so that's cool. I was afraid I'd have to leave the fun at 7. I want everyone who can make it to COME ON OUT! PLEASE! :) it will be good times and you can support me and my work :). JULY 8TH. That's a saturday. Don't make plans. BUT...
I'm having a little dilema. I don't know what work I should show. I'm going to show all digital work, and it can be up to 5 pieces. So I need the help of anyone and everyone that reads my journal! (what is that, like, 3?) haha. I'll show the pieces I want to choose from. If there's any more you know of that you think I should show, let me know. CLICK ON THE THUMBNAILS FOR FULL VIEWS!

lately

Tue, 06 Jun 2006 08:27:10 GMT

so.. I've been trying to do more lately, and get out more. I joined the gym Omni, so that's helped a lot. I joined with my friend geneve, and val goes there. so I'll have people to work out with, and hopefully help motivate me.. haha.. We started working out no friday, and went again earlier and later today. Geneve and I ended up swimming around 12:30 or 1 am.. we basically had the whole pool to ourselves, so it was fun. I hadn't been in a swimming pool in 8 years! All because of how self concious I am about my body. But, I'll be working out a lot more and hopefully start gaining muscle and losing fat. I'm glad I'm doing something good for myself. It makes me feel a whole lot better to...

I'm going to buffalo wild wings with val tomorrow. I can't wait! Their popcorn shrimp is soooooooooo good. hey val, smokey southwestern sauce. haha... sigh.... no more memories of us like that anymore...

oh well. we'll make new memories, right? yeah! maybe.. haha

oh and, are cats supposed to get excited and turned on by the smell of chlorine? because my cat is violently horny and she's atttacking me and eating my hair...

Wolfsheim

Tue, 06 Jun 2006 03:14:35 GMT

"I don't understand you saying
"Our seas were always rough!"
We had to make it up someway
But years were not enough

I will not praise the times we had
And won't deny that I feel sad
The silence speaks for you and me
While we're dancing

I don't love you anymore
And we're dancing
You're not the one I'm falling for
But we are dancing

I will not praise the times we had......

Look at what we have today
I can't live without you!
That's not what I want to say
But it seems so true

I will not praise the times we had......

So many good things that we had
I Can't help myself... I feel so sad...
I wish that you would speak to me
While we're dancing

I don't love you anymore...."

love this song...

even more art.

Mon, 05 Jun 2006 03:13:07 GMT

yes. more. If I don't do something here I'll end up going insane! so I sat down and doodled more in Photoshop. The last few pieces were photo manipulations, but the girls in these pieces were all digitally painted using the normal airbrush tool. I'm pretty happy with how they came out, as I don't do much realistic painting.

the first one kind of bored me when I finished her, so I spiced it up a bit.

details and larger sizes behind lj-cut!

detail1

detail 2

Another Piece!

Sun, 04 Jun 2006 01:12:06 GMT

yes. another one. already. hey, I was bored! why not doing something somewhat productive? I like it! :)
photomanipulation and digital painting. my own photos and textures and such.

Mademoiselle

Larger version and details behind lj cut.

details:

New Artwork - Burn

Sat, 03 Jun 2006 08:12:37 GMT

I was bored tonight, so after my nap I sat down and made this. I don't know what to say about it. It wasn't prethought, just kind of came out. A photomanipulation/digital painting.

She's burning on the inside.

I've got a bigger size along with some detail shots of it behind the lj cut!

details: